Big Feelings Toolkitby Connected First
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Today's verse · Lowering the temperature

Proverbs 15:1

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Through an attachment lens

Your gentleness is the signal that the relationship is not in danger. Children escalate hardest when they fear the connection is about to break.

What the nervous system is doing

Volume and tone are processed by the brainstem before words are understood. A soft, low voice literally reads as safety to a dysregulated nervous system.

One thing to try today

When the yelling starts, drop your volume instead of raising it. Get low, get close, speak slowly.

Grace for you

If today you were the harsh word, tomorrow you can be the gentle one. Nothing is ruined; you are still becoming.

You are doing the best you can with what today gave you. Keep showing up — Jesus covers the rest.